Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
