My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize