you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
