SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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