i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize