Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
