I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize