OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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