Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
