Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize