and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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