So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
