I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
