he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
