I wish I could punch you in the face.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
