"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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