Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
