Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
