Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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