u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
