After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
