I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
