You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
