Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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