How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
