I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize