rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
why is half of my head shaved?
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