Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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