He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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