I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
