i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
