Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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