Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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