i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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