i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
