You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's not a walk of shame if you run
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
