on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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