your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Your dad touched me again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
