She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
