Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm passing your future prison.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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