Im at strip club and am horny
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
