oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
