Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
