Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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