she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
