Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
