after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
