After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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