I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
