i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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