Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
