We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We are two peas in an std pod
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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