I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
