Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
