so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
