I'm really into asian looking animals
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
